If Only
by GuardianLadySkye
Summary: Edward has never been far from Kim's dreams. You'll just have to read to find out what happens. Told from Kim's POV...kinda. Oneshot fic, please review!


**I love this movie so much…no matter how many times I watch it, I can always cry. Anyways, this a little Edward/Kim yearning fic…'cause I wanted to stay true to the movie (y'know, when old Kim says that she never saw him again). Hope y'all will enjoy it!**

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_Kim couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned in her bed, trying to find a comfortable spot, trying to put her thoughts to rest. But it was no use. Every time her eyes closed, she saw him. Resting her head on her arm, she gazed at the clock mounted on her wall. Nearly half past midnight. Sighing, she sat up in bed and threw the covers off of her, with a mind to slip into the kitchen for a glass of water. As if by instinct, her eyes strayed to her window, to the dark blotch above the neighborhood, visible still by the faint glare of the moon. She felt her heart ache as she thought of him, all alone up there. The guilt of leaving him had always been with her. There was so much that she still wanted – no, needed – to say…if only she could see him one more time…_

_Suddenly, almost robotically, Kim stood up, went to her closet, and picked out the darkest outfit she could find. Noiselessly, she dressed in black pants, a black shirt, and black shoes. Since it was rather chilly out, she also threw on a black jacket. Clumsily pulling her long blonde hair back into a ponytail, she opened her door. With the stealth and grace of a panther, she crept to the front door. Quietly pulling it shut behind her, she set off down the dark, deserted street, taking care to remain within the shadows. As she slinked along the path, she thought about what she would say to him. She suddenly realized that she had no idea. Still, it did not make her stop and turn around. She kept going, her eyes never leaving the dark, derelict mansion atop the mountain, which was coming closer. _

_In almost no time, she reached the entrance, a large, gaping black hole that seemed to want to swallow her up. Taking great care to not tread upon the dry, scattered leaves, Kim tiptoed her way up the spiral hill, her stomach doing anxious somersaults. Her heart beat faster as she came to the ivy-covered gate. Praying that it would not creak, she tentatively pushed on it. Relief flooded through her as it opened soundlessly. Kim's breath caught in her throat as she saw all of the wonderful bush sculptures standing still, perfectly bathed in the moonlight. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, yet her heart ached at the same time, for she remembered how he used to cut the entire neighborhood's bushes like this. Her smile quickly faded, however, because she remembered how she had labeled them to be "creepy". _

_Once again, her eyes latched themselves onto the mansion directly ahead of her. As her eyes traveled further upwards, she thought she saw someone looking back at her through the broken window. As soon as she thought she saw him, however, he was gone. Kim walked quickly to the front door, treading only on the balls of her feet. As she ascended the steps to the front porch, she noticed that the door was ever so slightly ajar. Her breathing growing thin, she pushed the heavy door open. Patches of moonlight stained the otherwise gloomily-colored floor, and it was in this way that she was able to find the path to the stairs. Hastily yet quietly, she made her way up, memories of her last visit deluging her mind. Her stomach lurched excitedly, now more persistently than ever. It was an almost sickening lurch as she came to the end of her journey, to the room where it had all happened. The moon was clear through the enormous hole in the roof, but she did not see him anywhere. _

_To her right, she saw extraordinary shapes. Inching closer, she discovered that they were ice sculptures. Memories hit her so hard, she was almost knocked backward. Tears started to fill her eyes as she realized that the one nearest her was…**her**. She recognized it just then as her dancing in the snow. Feeling the waves of cold from the sculpture wash over her, Kim put her face very close to that of her ice twin. Slowly, tentatively, she brought her fingers up to the face… _

_Suddenly, she heard a familiar noise behind her. She whirled around to find…_

"_Edward?"_

_The pale, slender face that had haunted her dreams for so many nights stared back at her, just visible by the moonlight, which also glinted off the sharp, metal blades protruding from his wrists. He sat exactly where he had the last time she had come into this room: on his tiny straw bed, surrounded with clippings from newspapers and magazines. Kim rushed to him, dropping to her knees before him. He simply stared back at her, his eyes boring into hers. Her throat seemed to close as she took in every detail of his face. She noticed that he had acquired a few new scars, and that his hair was as messy as ever. Yet his eyes were the same; penetrating and innocent, just as they were the last time they were staring into her own. _

_Kim opened her mouth, but words would not come out. Her voice just didn't seem to work._

"_You came back," said Edward in his quiet, melodious voice. _

"_Yes," whispered Kim, her voice equally as quiet. "I had to talk to you, Edward."_

_He simply sat there, looking at her with innocent expectancy. _

"_I…"_

_Kim really did not know what to say. She should never have come. Leaving a second time would be even harder, and break his heart even more. Her breathing came in awkward gasps, and her eyes brimmed with tears. _

"_Hold me," she murmured, almost inaudible._

_As the words left her lips, she wrapped her arms around his neck. After a moment, she felt his arms envelope around her, just like that one fateful Christmas Eve. Try as she might, she could not stop the tears from escaping her eyes and running down her rosy cheeks. Kim buried her face in the crook of Edward's neck and let the tears fall. _

"_I've missed you so much, Edward," she whispered, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible. She looked up into his face, and, upon seeing the sorrow in his eyes, knew that he had seen her tears. As if drawn together by some magnetic force, their faces became closer…their noses touched…their eyes closed…_

_And Kim kissed Edward. Although similar to the one they had shared last time, this kiss was still different. Kim kept her lips firmly yet gently planted upon Edward's, because she wanted to remember this. His lips were soft and curious as they mimicked her movements. Kim lightly placed her hand on his cheek, stroking the scarred skin with her thumb. Her hand moved farther up, so that her fingers were entwined in his snarled, tousled hair. A single tear escaped Edward's closed eyelid as Kim touched him. _

_Removing her lips from his, Kim's fingers trailed down his cheek, wiping away his tear. _

"_I love you," she said, caressing his marred flesh._

_Edward's lips twitched, then parted as he answered, "I love you, too."_

_She smiled, and, almost crying again, said, "Edward, there's something I have to tell…"_

"_Hey!"_

_Edward and Kim both turned to see (to Kim's horror) Jim standing in the exact spot as the last time he had interrupted them. Kim's terror grew as she saw, with a sickening lurch of her stomach, that the wound that Edward had inflicted upon him, was still there, shining red with blood._

"_You thought I was dead, didn't you?" he said in a soft, dangerous voice as he slowly made his way toward them. "Well, guess what, freak? I'm not! And I told you to stay away from her!"_

_Edward's arms left Kim as he stared at Jim with as much disbelief and fright as Kim._

"_And you," Jim continued, pointing to Kim. "You cheating bitch. You're mine! You stay away from him!"_

_Quick as a flash, Jim pulled a gun out of nowhere and shot Kim in the stomach. She fell backwards as the warm blood oozed out of her. She could hear Edward calling to her…calling her name…_

"_Kim! Kim! Kim…"_

"Kim! Kim! Wake up, or you'll be late for school!"

Kim opened her eyes to her mother's anxious yet cheerful voice. The sun seemed blinding as it flooded her bright yellow room. Before Kim could say anything, her mother had already left. As she sat up, she realized that she had been sweating. Her eyes widened and she whipped her head to the side, looking out of her window, out to the mansion on top of the hill. She felt her stomach; it was smooth and firm. With a sigh, she sank back down onto her bed. Edward had never been far from her dreams…but neither had Jim. This was the fourth time he had entered her dreams, threatening Edward. But this time, it seemed so real…as crazy as it sounded, she wished it hadn't been a dream. Although she knew that she could never see Edward again, she still wished that she could. If only…if only.

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**Sooo…did you guys like it? The ending's crappy, I know...I'm terrible at those. I spent about three and a half to four hours working on this, though…at least review! Please?**


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